thoughts on the grand canyon

american airlines flight 205 currently flying over grand canyon, feeling inspired/excited but can’t like find my phone so pics are not possible

have seen grand canyon several times but never in real life, mostly with vague acquaintances in foreground with relative / significant other captioned “couldn’t have made it out here without you, so many good times” and a reference to a top 40 song

i do not trust road trips, personally. think that they give people false sense of closeness / shared experience, plus am vain enough to think that someone would deign to murder me in the middle of one

twelve-year-old boy in front of me is offensively reclined in my lap. he will grow up to be shit adult if this keeps up

anyways, plane = limited time with grand canyon, so must work quickly. probably have so much to say about canyon, its grandness, etc.

how to describe grand canyon in way that has not been done before??? learning new words all the time, in just past handful of days have learned one new word from a compliment given to me and another from a strategically placed insult. good words, too, 3+ syllables apiece, though i’d argue that a fancy word that’s only a syllable or two is more impressive in conversation

the man sitting next to me is has informed me that john cena is the only god he believes in and reads about white privilege on a kindle. normally, do not put myself above other people, but willing to make an exception in this case

okay, so, grand canyon

definitely big, definitely grand. rocks kind of look like veins? thinking that maybe, entire world is just bigger and smaller versions of same pattern? for instance, AA flight 205 flies (nay, soars!) over these rock patterns now but the same ones exist inside every member of the farting masses on AA 205, easily the biggest farting flight i’ve ever been on and i’m not excluding myself from that equation

that is a good metaphor. grand canyon big, we are smaller, there are things bigger than GC / smaller than us. oh jesus, an eighth grader could have written that

in fact, willing to bet that shit twelve-year-old is typing that into his iphone as he splays across my stupid lap at this exact moment. tend to grow very bitter when seeing younger people with nice things, meaning that i am now an Adult and should stop telling people it’s my senior year of college

grand canyon, pilot reminds us, means that we are one hour from destination. that is not a lot of time to write about grand canyon! spent most of flight sleeping, having dream that bare ass is exposed when body arranged wrong way, wake up, back asleep, orange juice at some point,

probably fart at some point. have decided am too old to exclude self as “part of the problem,” since it is nearly always the case for everyone and not usually your fault

for instance, grand canyon. maybe to some appeared to be mistake, big hole in the ground that - ugh no that makes no sense, scrap that, jesus christ

the grand canyon is named with one fact and one opinion

i read a book on the plane that made me feel like an asshole but i really did want to read it, plus it was a gift, plus who cares

me

or i would have told you the name of the fucking book

we stopped flying over grand canyon 10 min ago now

as said, did not get picture because phone fell beside seat and am nervous that if i bend over to retrieve the hole in the back of my shorts

family pretended not to notice as i turned from them this morning in dramatic exit, only to reveal gaping hole in shorts i had forgotten about. might have worn them anyways for laughs / attention if had remembered, instead just pulled sweatshirt over butt, effectively ruining shape of sweatshirt

in conclusion, the grand canyon is nice, maybe fly over it sometime as you slowly release a fart

jamie

Jamie LoftusComment